so if karma exists, does it carry over from one life to another? do you reap what you sow even if you cannot remember what it is that you sowed?
life spins and weaves and the things that are most wanted, that you are trying to draw to you circle just out of reach. penance for sins in another life that you cannot remember.
to be alone, completely — save a few fringe friends — even then the aloneness seeps deeply, completely into the bones. it is not something that disappears with time, age, or warmth. you can only run so far, drink so much, but it is there ever more, ever present.
breathing hurts and yet the mind settles minutely to the fact that this is your life. no going back, no undoing. it will be long, it will be painful, it will be alone.
they say everyone dies alone, but that is not true…only those alone die alone; the rest have family, friends, pets, humanity to stand witness toward their existence. they are validated, even if that is not what is sought.